I’ve Been Branded by My Bra

I’m a runner. I have breasts. Big ones.

I know I can’t be the only one, but to shop for running bras or most any running apparel, you’d think that I was a freak of nature. Those stretchy, racer back, pull over numbers that they actually have the audacity to call sports bras or jog bras (for Petes’ sake!) are simply not sufficient to do the work of a real woman. Now, if you are woman more modestly endowed, please don’t take offense – I am secretly envious, and any snarky remarks by me are simply frustration and jealousy – don’t take it personally.

As a new runner, you will be advised that the only thing you really need to get started is a pair of good shoes. You do need shoes, but a good supportive bra is equally, if not more important. In the first month or two, the distances you are likely to run may not require more than a pair of decent cross trainers or walk/run shoes with moderate support and cushioning. But your breasts – they will take on a life of their own from the first step out the door. All Baywatch babe fantasies aside, running while slinging those girls around is not a pretty sight.

As someone who started running and continues to train and coach on behalf of breast cancer causes, it would be negligent to allow you to run with boobs-a-bouncin’ causing damage to delicate breast tissue. Don’t do it. If you wear a C cup or larger (and statistics tell us most women are wearing the wrong size bra, so you should probably get fitted by a pro) then get thee a specialty high impact sports bra designed for the bigger bust. My personal recommendation: the Moving Comfort (brand) Fiona (model).

I like this one for several reasons. First, it is impressively sturdy. I’m pretty sure King Arthur might have issued this to his knights of the round table as impenetrable armament. Second, it has straps that are adjustable with Velcro. You put it on and hoist those girls high and firmly in place, and you get a perfect fit every time. Third, it is made of performance fabric that wicks moisture away from your body and is quick drying.

So here’s the one drawback…seams. There are a lot of seams, understandably, since this is a miracle of engineering. However, with more seams come more opportunities for chafing. Oh yeah – I actually have scars – burn marks my bra left because I was too ignorant to use BodyGlide (looks like stick deodorant, but is actually an amazingly easy, reliable way to avoid what looks like rug burn in the darndest places). But I am proud to wear the brand of my bra. It is a small price for the all it’s done for me. Now if I can just get some sort of sponsorship deal from Moving Comfort…

Make no mistake, this bra is not pretty (and for the love of God, ladies, please don’t even think about wearing a sports bra as a top!), but then I figure I have already done enough to discourage my husband’s advances when I return from my run a sweating, heaving, malodorous mess. He is not going to stick around to get a peek at the heavy duty support garments. The good news is because of the run, I clean up pretty good after the run, for which my husband is very appreciative.

Do you have any good bra recommendations? Please let us know in the comments section.

Can I Wear That? Yes, I can!

I recently ran my first half marathon. Yes, I do try to slip that into conversation every chance I get, because I enjoy the drop-jaw looks of wonder I get when I share this with someone. I like to think they’re amazed by my discipline and determination, but I suspect that, as often as not, it may be that they are thinking, “You? You ran a half marathon? Well, dang!” Lesson one for today: If I can do it, anyone can do it.

When you register for a race, you not only get the privilege of running the race but there is usually some accompanying swag. Most often this is some kind of bag – used to be a tote bag of some sort, but now it’s trendy to have reusable grocery bags in cute designs (and I’m guessing these are a lot cheaper than nylon or canvas bags). The bags are usually filled with lots of coupons and samples and a shirt. You used to get a standard issue T-shirt that you could parade around in on the weekends – a wearable trophy – but in the last two races I’ve run, my swag bag included a nice “technical” shirt. “Technical” is athletic jargon that refers to a shirt made of a special lightweight fabric that wicks moisture away from your body, unlike your regular cotton t-shirt that absorbs sweat and holds on to every drop as if you may want it back later. Now, if you are a big, sweaty runner like yours truly, these things are truly the greatest invention ever. So if you are still running in that hilarious Dirty Dick’s t-shirt you got on vacation at the beach 8 years ago, for the love of God, STOP! Lesson two for today: Go ahead and treat yourself to some performance gear. You will thank me.

So in the swag bag for my half marathon race was a nifty white technical shirt, of very nice design. Now, if you look back at the last paragraph, you’ll recall that I mentioned being a prolific sweater – I can soak though several layers of clothing if called upon. We’re talking wet, wet, wet. OK – now back to the beginning of this paragraph, you’ll see I said “white t shirt”. Are you with me? Wet – white – wet – white. Is anyone else having flashbacks of either personal humiliation or shadenfreude that involve a white bathing suit or wet white t-shirt?

Maybe then you’ll understand my trepidation when I pulled out my beautiful white performance shirt. I wondered what exactly the nature of my performance would be in this thing. Would drunks be throwing beads off balconies at me? And even though I wear medieval-armament-grade sports bras, the risk of over-exposure was too great. So if I can’t run in it, maybe I could just wear it around to the grocery or while driving carpool? Maybe it’s just me, but while you might be able to get away with prancing about in public in your gear immediately preceding or post work out, there is something kind of dorky about wearing “performance” wear when you are not actually “performing”.

So what to do? I finally just tried it on. It is lovely, nicely cut and quite flattering. I’m feeling downright sporty! Technical fabric is often tissue thin and form fitting (neither of which is going to alleviate the anxiety of the wet white t-shirt business), but this shirt looked awesome and was not too revealing – yet. Now I was really in love! So I did what any girl flush with new love will do: I was willing to risk looking foolish. I was going out for a run with this shirt, and I didn’t care who saw us together!

Sometimes when you follow your heart, it pays off. My technical shirt performed as promised and looked exactly the same wet as it did dry. This fabric is miraculous! Lesson number three for today: Love conquers all.