Posts filed under ‘Pain IS Funny’
In my dreams, I am Kenyan.
I picked up this headband at the post-race expo after my first half marathon. It is made out of COOLMAX, a performance fabric that I had hoped would solve my little problem of being blinded by my own torrential downpour of sweat.
Turns out, I just look like a complete ass in a headband. I might as well throw on some shiny leggings and thong leotard, but I am so not going to go there.
This headband has, however, become part of my pre-race ritual. In the privacy of my own home, I put it on, lay back, and visualize myself as a “real” runner, the runner of my dreams, crossing that finish line with ease, victoriously.
OK, I really bought it because I thought it was funny. I thought the idea of me wearing it was freakin’ hilarious, not just because I look like Olivia Newton John’s (circa Let’s Get Physical) dowdy older sister, but because I am the polar opposite of Kenyan.
Kenya is well known for it’s production of super-elite runners. I’m pretty sure their training regime goes something like this:
- Wake up
- Start running
- Up steep mountains only
- Repeat steps 1-3 over and over
Now in fairness to myself, I am much more well-rounded than my Kenyan runner brethren. And by “well-rounded”, I don’t just mean in that fleshy way that a forty-something woman of sturdy anglo-irsh stock is well-rounded. No, I mean that my life doesn’t actually revolve around running. For all the time I think about, talk about, read about, and write about running, I still only actually run 4-5 hours a week, 20-25 miles per week (and I may or may not be exaggerating those numbers in any given week).
The other 163 hours per week I am sleeping, eating, working, housekeeping, reading, writing, teaching, relationship tending, traveling, going to church, class, games, parties, Tweeting, Facebooking, and so on. I have a very full life, so not completing a sub-4 hour marathon is just going to have to be OK for me.
People ask me all the time if I really like to run. Sometimes I can honestly say “yes“, but more accurately, the answer is that I love NOT running, but the running part makes the not running parts way better.
